I watched ‘Get Smart’ the other night and was stunned by just how much dick, anus, and lets say old dirty socks it sucked. It made me so angry that I ripped my first printing of Scud #1 in half that was signed by Rob Schrab. Then I cried for a few hours.

..moving on…

So here I have compiled a few no-nos that movies have been doing far too much in the history of cinema, shit I DONT WANT TO FUCKING SEE YOU PULL ANYMORE HOLLYWOOD.

Movie No-Nos

1. The old ‘chunky milk poured into glass’ move- This isnt funny anymore, it hasn’t been since the Marx Brothers.

2. Fat Suits- Wow, as a society we must still be amazed with fat suit technology to still see it in so many movies. Its dumb, quit it.

3. Man is now a woman, girl is now old, black guy is now a white baby?- This is a horrible plot device, and if its the only thing you have going for you, you shouldn’t be making a movie. With the exception of 13 going on 30, that movie is great.

4. Giving the 3rd movie over to a new director- OK, here I really just mean X-Men 3, Brett Ratner fucked that thing six ways to vegas. That fucking Motherfucker. (If you’re reading this Brett, I’m not just saying this to be cool either, I hate you. I don’t care if there were budget issues, or the script was re-written on the first day of filming, fuck you, and you suck)

5. Unnecessary Nudity- Alright call me gay for saying this, but honestly I am getting sick of there being nudity for no reason. Also hard nipples. Them things distract me from what your purty mouth is saying darlin, cover em up.

TTFN
-Kid C

Take a stand!

1. I never thought I would see the day you would say unnecessary nudity in movies was a no-no. For shame, Colin, foooooooor shaaaaaaaaame

   — Kyle · Dec 11, 08:08 AM · #

2. I love Jennifer Garner…and hard nipples

   — B · Dec 11, 01:31 PM · #

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