So I watched Juno last week… yeah that movie that had mountainfulls of praise rubbed across its underaged stomach, like a pedderass teaching swim lessons.

Ew, that was a gross metaphor. I kinda wish I hadn’t ever thought that.

Anyway, I saw the movie and I think it royally sucked. And it royally blew. It both sucked and blew. The movie contained so much ham-fisted proof that Juno was, in fact, “not your average girl” that I wanted to vomit. And I think I would have if I wasn’t shitting myself with fury the whole time( It is indeed hard to shit and to vomit. See HERE) Yes I get that you like 70s punk bands. Yes, you have salvation army clothes. And yes, your “personality” is that of a bitter, 30-something Jeanne garofalo, WOW HOW FUCKING EDGY AND INDY.

Really, are you fucking kidding me America? Is this what you want? Stories that make you feel better about how shitty your highschool career was? Fuck man, I was a huge fucking nerd who didn’t even know what breasts looked like until that day in PE when Sally Pincen forgot her bra, but this movie didn’t connect with me, all it did was enrage me. And if it didn’t enrage you, well you must be either:

A. A HUGE fucking tool.
B. A super popular person who never was “different” and laughs at the antics of the ugly-cute girl.
C. Deaf and Dumb
D. Been getting a blowjob through the whole shitty movie (or getting your bean flicked)

Don’t get me wrong, the actors did a great job, but whoever wrote this script, go eat a dick. Unless you like them, then go eat a cactus instead.

TTFN
-Kid C

I don’t want a career, I got enough to deal with here
And I shelled out my last 7 bucks for beer
I don’t know what the fuck to do

Take a stand!

1. Amen

   — B · Jul 22, 11:40 AM · #

2. did I mention knowing the answer makes one cool and edgy?

   — Misty · Jul 22, 06:32 PM · #

3. what the…well, there was a beginning to that thing….guess yer website messed it up!

   — Misty · Jul 22, 06:33 PM · #

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