Wizard World Chicago is coming up soon. I am pretty pumped despite how little I care about most of what the event has to offer. It’s just damn fun to go and blow hard earned cash on gambles. Is this bootlegged copy of Iron Man the real thing, or a low quality version of Bedazzled with Japanese fan-subs? I bet the Japanese love Brendan Fraser’s quirkiness. I only trust those vendors as far as I can throw them. Ever seen the comic book guy from the Simpsons? Point made.

Worst Xena cosplay ever. She doesn’t even have her chakram. And Gabrielle’s staff is all wrong.

I used to dig Xena, want to fight about it? She was the genesis of some of my first sexual fantasies.

At last year’s convention, we were privileged enough to play BioShock before its release. It was pretty awesome considering how the game has gone on to be one of my favorites of all time.

Oh the sights to be held at this wonderful place. And oh, oh my god, the smells. You would think the convention was a nerd factory, and they just had vats of nerd body odor set up to inject the new nerds with, but some derkwad in an oversized Vader costume couldn’t see and knocked one of the vats over.

Many great things have come out of our yearly patronage. Many, many more mediocre things as well. And an unbelievable amount of crap. Here are some of the best things discovered at Wizard World.

Stikfas- Sweet action figures that have quite a few points of articulation. They are just plain, smooth plastic stick like figures, but come with stickers and accessories and such.

Battle Pope- Excellent comic series revolving around a womanizing and alcoholic pope who becomes a hero when Hell is released on Earth. A hippy Jesus is his sidekick. One of the people behind this went to work on the Walking Dead, a nice zombie series.

Berserk- One of the few animes that is actually good, and not just filler. Stars Guts, a sweet dude with a sword that makes Cloud Strife’s buster sword look like a pen knife, and I believe Guts sported the giant blade before Cloud, but hey, I’m sure there are tons of unrealistic giant weapons in Japanese culture that I don’t even know about it.

I’m sure there are a lot more great things I have picked up there, but at this point all I can think of is the delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches we always enjoy during our lunchtime respite. They aren’t amazing by any means, PB&Js don’t vary too much, but I never have to make them and after walking around all day, they are just fucking fantastic. And they go great with the cold Pepsi.

And I’m a Coke man.

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